Monday, May 18, 2009

Overenthusiastic bloggers bring unexpected positivity to hemroids

"Top 10 awesome things to do while standing up!"


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Friday, May 1, 2009

Ninjananner to break new ground in food tourney

look for him in the 2009 Quietest Food Competition as he takes on perennial favorite Mashed Potatoes.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Friday, April 24, 2009

I am the scariest brownie you have ever seen

and yes, my eyes taste like jelly beans.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Go jogging in the park with THESE babies on

Bonus points for jumping in a
pickup soccer game and acting insane.


Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Hi Alex, it's me A-rod

"Come here, you dirty little slugger.
What do you wanna do, huh? You wanna....
Don't touch me there. OMG, I want you so bad.
I could eat pastries off your abs."


Monday, March 16, 2009

The 2012 Enigma

it has begun.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Beware of the GINGER RAGE

"At least all you other minorities have a place of refuge.
A place where everyone looks like you.
All we have is — Wendy's."

Friday, March 6, 2009

In these tough times

you can always count on Sheep-Pig.



Monday, February 16, 2009

Let, go

You don't understand.
He holds me like this - all the time.
He seriously doesn't let go.

I think he has actual feelings for me.
I mean, who takes their cat to Wal-Mart Portrait Studio
and buys the $200 package?
And when we came home, I think he tried to tongue kiss me.
He had his eyes closed.
It was weird.


Sunday, February 15, 2009

Now look what you did

No one takes my sketti o's silly.


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Productivity is relative

"Ha Haaa! I did way more shit than you guys today."

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Monday, February 9, 2009

figaro, figaro, figaro, figaro,

FIIIIIGAAROOOO


Friday, February 6, 2009

The best mouse trap money can buy

Protect your family from the dangers of rodents with Murder Mouse®.
  • Murder Mouse comes vacuum sealed and super compact, great for squeezing into tight spaces.
  • Murder Mouse comes equipped with loaded mini machine gun.
  • Murder Mouse is trained to befriend other mice.
  • Just use the included remote to turn off Murder Mouse's feelings to trigger killing spree.
You press the button, Murder Mouse finishes the job. Order your hit today!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Which me is looking at you?

"My guess is, if you had to pick, you'd rather the right me was looking at you, since the left me is the me that is most likely to eat your throat."

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I don't have rabies

but you should see me eat corn

Monday, February 2, 2009

You cannot have my panna cakes

"I will swat at any forks or knives that try to take a my panna cakes away from me. These are my panna cakes. And I will not hesitate to slime you with one or more of my nanner arms."

Friday, January 9, 2009

In other news

awkward moments at work are on the rise

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Miserable dog relentlessly mocked by owner

"Help someone please, I'm pink and I have pom pom paws. Which, if you can tell by the look on my face, is nothing I feel like cheering about. It makes everything I do seem like it should be exciting. But it's not. My life sucks. The most exciting part of my day is when this crazy bitch gives me a hug and I nearly suffocate in her cleavage."